How to Deal With Alcohol Cravings: Mantras to Get You Through the Moment

If you're sober, there's a good chance you've had one of those moments.

You know the one.

You're stressed. You're pissed off. You're bored. You're lonely. You've had a shitty day.

And suddenly that little voice shows up:

“A drink would make this better.”

Maybe it tells you that you deserve one.

Maybe it tells you that you've been doing great and one drink won't hurt.

Maybe it tells you that you can start again tomorrow.

I've heard that voice plenty of times.

The thing I've learned is this:

A craving is not an instruction.

You don't have to act on it.

You just have to get through it.

A craving only lasts 20 minutes.

What is an alcohol craving?

A craving is basically your brain remembering something it learned to rely on.

For a long time, alcohol might have been your answer to almost everything.

Bad day?

Drink.

Stress?

Drink.

Can't sleep?

Drink.

Argument with someone?

Drink.

Feeling uncomfortable?

Drink.

Eventually, your brain starts making that connection automatically.

Something feels wrong, and your brain suggests the thing that used to make it go away.

That doesn't mean you actually need alcohol.

It means your brain remembers alcohol as a solution.

And sometimes that memory can be incredibly convincing.

The craving doesn't mean you actually want to drink

This is something that took me a while to understand.

You can want a drink without actually wanting everything that comes with drinking.

You might want the first 20 minutes.

You probably don't want the anxiety the next morning.

You probably don't want the guilt.

You probably don't want to wake up wondering what you said or did.

You probably don't want to start the cycle all over again.

Sometimes what you're really craving isn't alcohol.

You're craving relief.

Relief from stress.

Relief from your thoughts.

Relief from an emotion you don't want to feel.

And that's an important distinction.

Because if what you actually want is relief, alcohol isn't your only option.

You don't have to beat the craving

One of the biggest mistakes I made was thinking I needed to somehow make the craving disappear.

I don't.

I just need to get through it.

Think about a craving like a wave.

It comes in.

It gets bigger.

And eventually it comes back down.

You don't have to fight the entire ocean.

You just have to stay on the beach long enough for the wave to pass.

That's where mantras can help.

“This too shall pass.”

This is one of the simplest mantras I use.

This too shall pass.

Not “I'll never crave alcohol again.”

Not “Everything is going to be perfect.”

Just:

This too shall pass.

Because it will.

You don't have to know exactly when.

You don't have to understand why you're craving.

You don't have to solve every problem in your life.

You just have to remind yourself that what you're feeling right now isn't permanent.

The craving will change.

The emotion will change.

The shitty day will eventually become yesterday.

You just have to give it time.

Mantras to use when you want to drink

Sometimes you don't need a motivational speech.

You need one sentence you can repeat when your brain is trying to negotiate with you.

Here are some that can help:

“This too shall pass.”

“I don't need to act on this feeling.”

“A craving is a feeling, not a command.”

“I don't actually want the drink. I want relief.”

“I know where the first drink takes me.”

“Drinking won't fix the reason I want to drink.”

“I don't have to make myself feel better. I just have to avoid making myself feel worse.”

“I can feel uncomfortable without needing to escape.”

“I don't need to solve my whole life tonight. I just need to not drink tonight.”

“I've made it this far. I'm not trading that for one fucking drink.”

And sometimes the simplest one is the most powerful:

“Not today.”

Don't argue with the voice forever

There's another thing I've learned.

Sometimes the more you argue with the craving, the more attention you give it.

Your brain says:

“You could have one.”

You respond:

“No, because…”

Then your brain comes back with another reason.

“But you've been sober for a while.”

You answer.

“But tomorrow is…”

You answer again.

Suddenly you've spent 30 minutes having a fucking debate with yourself about alcohol.

You don't necessarily have to win the argument.

You can just stop participating in it.

“Nope. Not today.”

Then go do something else.

Get outside.

Call someone.

Take a shower.

Go for a drive.

Work out.

Make food.

Play with your dog.

Put your phone down.

Whatever gets you through the next little while without acting on the craving.

Have a plan before the craving hits

It's a lot harder to come up with a plan when you're already in the middle of the craving.

That's why it helps to figure out your go-to responses ahead of time.

Know what situations tend to trigger you.

Know who you can call.

Know where you can go.

Know what you're going to tell yourself.

Have a few things ready that give you something else to focus on.

You don't need a perfect recovery plan for the rest of your life.

You need a plan for the next difficult moment.

You don't have to feel good to stay sober

This might be one of the hardest lessons in early sobriety.

You can be pissed off and stay sober.

You can be anxious and stay sober.

You can be lonely and stay sober.

You can have a fucking terrible day and stay sober.

Being sober doesn't mean you're going to feel good all the time.

It means you don't automatically reach for alcohol every time you don't.

That's a huge difference.

You're teaching yourself that uncomfortable feelings can exist without controlling what you do next.

And every time you get through one of those moments, you're building evidence that you can do it again.

A craving doesn't mean you're failing

If you get a craving, it doesn't erase your sobriety.

It doesn't mean you're back at square one.

It doesn't mean you're doing recovery wrong.

It means you're human.

If alcohol was something you relied on for years, your brain isn't going to forget that connection overnight.

Recovery isn't about never having another thought about drinking.

It's about learning that you don't have to obey every thought you have.

The goal isn't to never have cravings

The goal is to learn what to do when they show up.

Maybe eventually they become less frequent.

Maybe they become less intense.

Maybe you get to a point where the thought of drinking doesn't have the same power it once did.

But you don't need to wait for that day to start living your life.

When the craving hits, come back to the basics.

Breathe.

Give it time.

Remind yourself:

This too shall pass.

You don't need to figure out the rest of your life tonight.

You don't need to promise yourself you'll never drink again.

You just need to get through this moment.

And then the next one.

And then the next.

Eventually, the moment that felt impossible becomes a moment you got through.

And every time that happens, you're learning something important:

You can feel the craving without becoming the craving.

Still struggling with getting sober?

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